Ok, when I saw the poster for Pathfinder, I assumed it was a low-rent Lord of the Rings/D&D style ripoff. Someone cashing in on the fantasy trend. And given that there was basically no marketing (I never saw a trailer), I also assumed it sucked.Oh, how wrong (and right) I was.
Pathfinder is, in fact, a "retelling" of the "legend" of how 600 years before Columbus, the Vikings showed up, raped and pillaged, and then were driven off by some mysterious force. The mysterious force, apparently, being a lone Viking child left behind on a scouting expedition who was raised by wolves. Well, Native Americans, really, but it doesn't make much of a difference.
Flash-forward to when Lil' Viking has adopted the ways of the Native Americans and grown up into proud warrior - Stands With a Sword, if you will. His original Viking family shows up and all hell breaks loose. Fortunately, Lil' Viking was off picking flowers or some such thing, so returns just in time to see everyone butchered so he can exact revenge like it's going out of style. Or maybe he created the style, since it happened long ago, I dunno.
Anyway, he chops off a lot of heads, hooks up with the hot Native American to Poke some Hontas, and chops off some more heads. The film's digitally graded to be forty shades of blue, but it's even more degrees of blah. I'd say pass and find some other path - Netflix Last of the Mohicans instead.
4 comments:
What's the best movie ever about a viking?
I couldn't find one, hence only the Mohican suggestion. Are there even good movies about Vikings?
I saw a trailer for Pathfinder on TV. I had the sound muted, and the closed captioning was displaying the words from a Chili's commercial. The effect was that of a blue-gray faceless warrior leaping around snowy forests while people sang "Let's go get some ribs". It was awesome, probably much better than the actual film.
Clare - while they did, in fact, get some ribs in Pathfinder, I think it was with a mace or morning star or something. Your version was the winner, hands down.
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