ARE YOU ENTERTAINED??!?!?!??!?

Well, no – not really. Here's hoping the re-launch of American Gladiators gets launched from the prime-time schedule soon, because it's a disaster. These "re-imaginings" are tricky business; sometimes you get Battlestar Galactica, sometimes you get Bionic Woman. And sometimes you really strike out and get Planet of the Apes.

The original Gladiators wasn't exactly high art, but had a certain schlocky charm for its time. Unfortunately, as it is wont to do, time marches on. But Gladiators hasn't – aside from repainting the Power Ball cones and adding pits of water... or fire... or firewater, it's exactly the same show. Which in a world weaned on wrestling, action sports and reality TV, is completely irrelevant.

Instead of battling blank "personalities" like Crush (pictured above), Titan and Insert Generic Power Word Here, contestants should be going up against former UFC and WWE champs. If you wanna dust off 80s relic Hulk Hogan, put a pugil stick in his hand instead of a microphone. And update the events instead of polishing retreads that seem like holdovers from the Presidential Physical Fitness Awards.

Overall is it watchable? I guess, in the sense that it's people hitting each other with brightly colored objects. But you'd prolly have a better time throwing Twizzlers at each other. Pass.