One and Done

Pilot Opinion: Dirt
TV loves antiheroes. The Shield's Vic Mackey. Rescue Me's Tommy Gavin. Tony Soprano – hell, pretty much all of The Sopranos. Characters you'd likely detest in real life, but you like just fine on the screen. Lucy Spiller, the on-the-nose-named antiheroine in FX's new show Dirt, is not one of these.

Michael Chiklis' Mackey walks both sides of the law, but we've long been able to appreciate vigilante justice if we can see our way clear to believing it's for the right reasons. Denis Leary exposes Gavin as he battles his demons – physical, mental and chemical – allowing us to understand and appreciate his struggle. And hey, everyone loves the Mob! The stars of Dirt, however, seem to be notable primarily for being a bitch, cheater, schizo, traitor or whore.

Courteney Cox plays Spiller, who trades in celeb gossip for the titular magazine (altho on the show it's spelled Drrt, as in Riot Grrls, etc. Uh huh.) She crushes reputations with captions, causes divorces with stories and kills careers with pictures. She puts down her staff and picks up strangers on the street. Her sidekick is a deranged shooter for the paparazzi. And we're supposed to root for her because... um... she was Monica on Friends?

Also not helping is the fact that Hollywood clearly doesn't want to participate in a plot that celebrates the paparazzi and friends – LA's known for being fake, but the version in this show is particularly so. Former Laker Rick Fox plays an adulterous basketball player for the "LA Rockers," who also happen to wear purple and gold. The actors playing the actors are vaguely reminiscent of real stars, like Kiera Knightley-ish Julia Mallory, or saddled with soap-worthy names like Holt McClaren. Part of Entourage's success stems from the sense that you're getting a real tour of the town, whereas Dirt feels like a bitter fantasy.

So does it clear The Pilot Hurdle? Nope. Dirt's got the trademark FX grit, with blow job and strap on discussions, lots of near nudity and drug use and abuse, but it's missing Rescue Me's soul or It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia's irreverence. We're supposed to revel in how deliciously dirty all these characters are, but mostly it feels like you'll want a shower after. Pass.